Canada – More sex: Abuser; Victims want no contact with you, says judge

Article

By DEAN PRITCHARD, SUN MEDIA

A Winnipeg man who sexually abused his stepdaughter for more than a decade and molested two of her friends clings to the hope of resuming a sexual relationship with his stepdaughter, a court heard Wednesday.

“It is important and must be stressed to the accused that the parties want absolutely no contact with you,” said Judge Kelly Moar before sentencing the man to seven years in prison.

“They aren’t interested in your treatment plan and just want to somehow erase you from their memories.”

The 45-year-old man, who cannot be identified to protect the identity of his stepdaughter, pleaded guilty earlier this year to one count each of sexual assault and assault causing bodily harm in connection with the now 20-year-old victim. He also pleaded guilty to two counts of sexual interference for molesting two of her friends.

“His only goal was to satisfy his own sexual deviance,” Moar said. “He looked at (his stepdaughter) as his own possession to use as he felt fit … The actions of (the accused) are repulsive and demand a significant period of incarceration.”

THREATENED

Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse

I want to apologize for the major delay on this month’s edition of the blog carnival. Something came up and I have been unable to spend much time on the computer. I will have the carnival up by tomorrow afternoon.

Please please forgive me!!

And thank you all for your patience!

Apparently… I’m a "real asshole".

And if I’m a real asshole, than any news reporter who ever wrote a news story about somebody being arrested or being arraigned in court or reporting any other factual information made available to the public in police reports or court documents are real assholes too.

Apparently, the First Amendment is only appropriate if the actions allowed by the First Amendment leave everybody in a favorable light.

Apparently, we should not be allowed to share arrest information about people who are accused of and investigated for child sexual abuse or child rape.

Yes, readers, I am an asshole. And a proud one at that.

I received an email allegedly from Jeanne M. Dollaway. She and her fiance were arrested in MA back in Dec. Leverone, the fiance, was arrested on charges of raping a child, and other things. Dollaway was arrested for accessory after the fact.  The news story was delivered to my mail box, as 100’s of stories are each day, and I posted the report on my site.

Apparently, the story about their arrest and arraignment is untrue. ? The reporter seems to have completely fabricated court docs and police reports. According to Ms. Dollaway, anyway.

Yesterday (eight months later), I received an email with the subject line, WRONG!!!!

Dear Lisa,

You ought to be ashamed of yourself!!!  For your information this story is untrue.  This story is about a sadlyabnormal child who is suicidal, has an eating disorder and has been physically and emotionally abused her whole life.  Sadly her whole family doesn’t want anything to do with her.  She lives with fake Grandparents and is longing for attention.  My daughter was her friend since kindergarten and we (my fiancee, myself and my daughter) were always there for her. 

So if you think you are such a good person because you go broadcasting anything and everything in the newspaper then you’d better think again.  Because everything you read in the newspaper isn’t true.

I think you should put your efforts into something more substantial and important in life instead of just being naive and cruel as to not know what’s true and what’s not and putting it out there anyway.  

Why don’t you put yourself in our position, how would you like it if you were wrongly accused of raping or killing someone and didn’t but it was put in the paper anyway???  

That’s so sad and unfair.

no need to sign my name 

Now from this email, she assumes that 1) I know what story she is referring to, and 2) that I know who she is. I never considered the fact that she would actually be a part of one of the 1000s of stories on SadlyNormal, and therefore, didn’t bother trying to search anything. But me, being me, and always willing to listen, replied to her email, and asked for clarification. My inquiry begat the following response from the alleged Ms. Dollaway:

It doesn’t matter because it’s not like your going to change it…  we’re talking about rape where it says supposedly my fiancee raped my daughters friend…….   as I said the girl is very disturbed and always has been…   my daughter was right there!!!  and she is the type that if something like that was ever going on she wouldn’t just sit there and keep her mouth shut.

the only reason why they arrested my fiancee and me was because the detective in Ashland forced me to make a statement saying it was true or i would go to jail right then and there for 15 years and my daughter was going to be taken away from me.  He wasn’t letting me out of the room until I did what he wanted me to do.  

anyway it’s so sad that things go into the newspaper just because someone says it true.  it’s cruel and not fair.  So because of this me and my fiancees names (mind you we do have family with same last names as us) and are names are all slandered.  Our families and we are good people.

Hey I agree with the average persons feelings about these types of sick crimes but no one has the right to broadcast something that they really don’t know what the real truth is.  I just think you people should think twice about broadcasting things if you really dont’ know.  

Again, seriously, how would you feel??? 

And by the way all you had to do was look at my name on the e-mail to figure out which ad???  come on now.

My psychic abilities failed me at first, but now I know. I know she is somehow part of the story. Although, her name was abbreviated to JeannieD in her email address, I searched. After a few attempts, I found it.

(again, Jeannie, there are 1000’s of “Ads” on my site, and your name just didn’t stand out in my memory. My sincerest apologies.)

I emailed Jeannie immediately, and told her I understood. She was/is (who knows) the fiance of the accused child rapist. Got it. She replied:

you’re a a real asshole

We all know those who stand by the accused… well.. this was my reply:

News is news… and the first amendment ensures our freedom of speech. I don’t know the story, I only know what the news reports. The news reported that you and your fiance were arrested, and what you were arrested for. It doesn’t say whether you are innocent or guilty. I feel no shame. I’m not the one who was arrested…

It has been 8 months since you and James were arrested. What has happened? Anything? Tell me what the courts have said, what the outcomes have been, and I’ll post those. I will need proof… news clips or something will do…

You ask how I would feel… honestly, I don’t know. I know that if my fiance or husband or brother or uncle were accused of sexual abuse or rape of a child, I wouldn’t be so quick to doubt it. I know all too well how the loved ones of the accused react… they don’t want to believe someone they think they know so well can be capable of committing such an atrocity. But let me tell you… they are masters of manipulation, and can wield lies that you couldn’t imagine. And they threaten their victims. Perhaps your own daughter is in some sense a victim. I was a victim of sexual abuse… a survivor… now a warrior. I know too often children don’t tell and live with the pain and suffering for the rest of their lives. You wouldn’t think I was the type to keep my mouth shut about something like that either… but I did. I had to. I was in fear for MY life…

Anyway, Jeannie, I hope your daughter is safe. I hope if your fiance is innocent, he is proven as such. On the flip side, if he is guilty, I hope he rots in hell. And if you are guilty of aiding him in anyway, I hope you join him.

If this makes me an asshole, so be it. I will stand proud as an asshole.

The moral of this story…

Don’t tell me I should be ashamed for repeating news. Don’t tell me I should be ashamed for utilizing the rights granted to me, to us all, by the First Amendment. Don’t tell me I should be ashamed for exposing child rapists for being the monsters they are. Don’t tell me I should keep silent. Silence is no longer an option… it is silence that got us into this mess…

P.S. Did anyone else notice that Ms. Dollaway used the old standby of victim blaming?

CA – Self-Proclaimed Pedophile Goes Free

Article

By GREG RISLING, AP
Posted: 2007-08-22 08:09:33

LOS ANGELES (Aug. 22) – A self-described pedophile was released from jail Tuesday after prosecutors dropped a criminal case accusing him of violating a judge’s order prohibiting him from being within 30 feet of children anywhere in California for three years.

Prosecutors could not pursue the case against Jack McClellan, 45, after they determined the order was invalid because the judge failed to schedule and give McClellan proper notice of a hearing required to argue the merits of imposing such a long-lasting order before it is issued.

McClellan was arrested Aug. 13 for investigation of violating the order when he was found near a child care center at the University of California, Los Angeles. He had a camera with him at the time, but he told a local TV station that there wasn’t any film in it.

McClellan was arrested again – several hours later – this time for trespassing after he did an interview with the TV station on university grounds. He had been told not to return to the campus after his first arrest. Prosecutors did not pursue the trespassing charges.

Superior Court Judge Melvin Sandvig issued the order Aug. 3 requiring McClellan to stay at least 30 feet away from every person under age 18 in California for a three-year period, said Nick Velasquez, a spokesman for the Los Angeles city attorney’s office.

A three-year order amounts to what is termed a preliminary injunction, and cannot be issued without the statutory hearing and notice requirements, according to the city attorney’s office.

Superior Court spokeswoman Pat Kelly said Sandvig could not comment because the case is pending. A call to his chambers went unanswered late Tuesday.

A cell phone message left for McClellan was not returned.

McClellan is unemployed and has been living out of his car. He stirred controversy in Southern California when he arrived this summer from Washington state, where he had lived with his parents.

McClellan maintained a Web site in Washington where he posted photos of children he had taken in public places. He also discussed how he liked to stake out parks, public libraries, fast-food restaurants and other areas where little girls, or “LGs,” congregated.

His server took his Web site down more than a month ago. McClellan, who said he lives on supplemental security income and suffers from depression, has maintained that he launched the site as a form of therapy and wouldn’t do anything illegal.

McClellen also has a hearing set for Friday on a temporary restraining order preventing him from coming within 10 yards of children in the city of Santa Clarita in northern Los Angeles County, authorities said.

Blog Carnival – Sadly Normal Style

I am honored to be hosting the August edition of the next Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse, started by Marj over at Survivors Can Thrive. We will call it the Back To School Edition… and for this edition, I would like to include a theme called

BEYOND HEALING: WHAT WE ARE DOING TO GET BACK TO LIFE

 

Deadline for submissions is August 22nd, and I will have the carnival posted August 24th!

Please use this link to submit your post!!

CA – Ban corrals self-described pedophile (McClellan)

Article

LOS ANGELES, California (AP) — A self-described pedophile who says he is attracted to young girls but doesn’t molest them was ordered Friday to stay at least 30 feet away from every person under age 18 in California.

The temporary restraining order was issued against Jack McClellan by Superior Court Judge Melvin Sandvig, who also scheduled an August 24 hearing to discuss the matter further.

McClellan, who was not in court, told The Associated Press he didn’t learn of Friday’s hearing in time to attend.

“That was granted? Oh man, I didn’t think it would be,” McClellan said, adding he believed such an order would be an unconstitutional restriction of his rights.

The order was obtained by attorneys Anthony Zinnanti and Richard Patterson, both parents of young children. As soon as Sandvig issued it, Zinnanti raced to Los Angeles International Airport to serve it on McClellan, who had boarded a flight to Chicago for a TV appearance.

Philippines – Oledan: Chain

Article

By Radzini Oledan
Spices of Life

INCEST remains to be one of the most under-reported and least discussed crimes in our community. Considered as a taboo, incest often remains concealed by the victim because of guilt, shame, fear, social and familial pressure, as well as coercion by the abuser.
It is defined as “…the sexual abuse of a child by a relative or other person in a position of trust and authority over the child. It is a violation of the child where he or she lives — literally and metaphorically. A child molested by a stranger can run home for help and comfort. A victim of incest cannot.” (Vanderbilt).
It may also include sexual contact or interaction between family members, sexually staring at the victim by the perpetrator, accidental or disguised touching of the victim’s body by the perpetrator, verbal invitations to engage in sexual activity, verbal ridiculing of body parts, pornographic photography, reading of sexually explicit material to children, and exposure to inappropriate sexual activity.
Incest does not discriminate.
It happens in families that are financially-privileged, as well as those of low socio-economic status. However, there may be discrepancies in the estimates of the number of incest victims. All too often, pressure from family members, in addition to threats or pressure from the abuser, results in extreme reluctance to reveal abuse and to subsequently obtain help.

A Recovery Bill of Rights for Trauma Survivors By Thomas V. Maguire, Ph.D.

Copyright 1995-97 Thomas V. Maguire, Ph.D. Ver. 3.0 (04/97)
All rights reserved, except that permission is hereby granted to freely reproduce and distribute this document, provided the text is reproduced unaltered and entire (including this notice) and is distributed free of charge.

By Virtue of Your Personal Authority You Have the Right to . . .

Manage your life according to your own values and judgment.
Direct your recovery, answerable to no one for your goals or progress.
Gather information to make intelligent decisions about your recovery.
Seek help from many sources, unhindered by demands for exclusivity.
Decline help from anyone without having to justify the decision.
Believe in your ability to heal and seek allies who share your faith.
Trust allies in healing so far as one human can trust another.
Be afraid and avoid what frightens you.
Decide for yourself whether, when, and where to confront fear.
Learn by experimenting, that is, make mistakes. 

To Guard Your Personal Boundaries You Have the Right to . . .

Be touched only with, and within the limits of, your consent.
Speak or remain silent, about any topic and at any time, as you wish.
Choose to accept or decline feedback, suggestions, or interpretations.
Ask for help in healing, without having to accept help with everything.
Challenge any crossing of your boundaries.
Take action to stop a trespass that does not cease when challenged. 

For the Integrity of Your Personal Communication You Have the Right to . . .

Ask for explanation of communications you do not understand.
Express a contrary view when you do understand and you disagree.
Acknowledge your feelings, without having to justify them.
Ask for changes when your needs are not being met.
Speak of your experience, without apology for your uncertainties.
Resolve doubt without deferring to the views or wishes of anyone. 

For Safety in Your Personal Dependency in Therapy You Have the Right to . . .

Hire a therapist or counselor as coach, not boss, of your recovery.
Receive expert and faithful assistance in healing from your therapist.
Know that your therapist will never have any other relationship with you— business, social, or sexual.
Be secure against any disclosure by your therapist, except with your consent or under court order.
Hold your therapist’s undivided loyalty in relation to all abusers.
Obtain informative answers to questions about your condition, your therapist’s qualifications, and any proposed treatment.
Have your safety given priority by your therapist, to the point of readiness to use all lawful means to neutralize an imminent threat to your life or that of someone else.
Receive a commitment from your therapist that is not conditional on your “good behavior” (habitual crime and endangerment excepted).
Make clear and reliable agreements about the times of sessions and of your therapist’s availability.
Telephone your therapist between scheduled sessions, in urgent need, and receive a return call within a reasonable time.
Be taught skills that lessen the risk of re-traumatization:
containment (boundaries for recovery work);
control of attention and mental imagery;
systematic relaxation.
Enjoy reasonable physical comfort during sessions.

Dental Tips for Survivors

Article

This information is made possible by a grant from the N.H. Charitable Fund. The research on which these Dental Tips was based is detailed in Hays, K. F., & Stanley, S. F. (1996). The impact of childhood sexual abuse on women’s dental experiences. Journal of Child Sexual Abuse 5, 65–74.

Is it extremely difficult for you to call for a dental appointment for yourself?
Do you put off making dental appointments even though you’ve got dental problems?
Do you space out or become excessively fearful while in the dental chair?
Were you sexually abused as a child or adolescent?

By the age of 18, 1 in 3 girls and 1 in 7 boys will be sexually abused. Not only is the abuse traumatic at the time it occurs, it often has long-term disruptive consequences for the adult survivor. For example, medical procedures can be difficult to tolerate.
For many survivors, going to the dentist is traumatic. They avoid visiting the dentist, have trouble making or keeping appointments, are more likely to have stress-related dental problems, and have severe distress symptoms while at the dentist.
What is the connection between these symptoms of dental anxiety and childhood sexual abuse? There are a number of symbolic parallels: being alone with a person (often male) more powerful than oneself; being placed in a horizontal position; being touched; having objects put into one’s mouth; being unable to swallow; and anticipating or experiencing pain.
If you have some of these concerns, please know there are a number of ways to help alleviate your fears. Also, dentists are becoming more sensitive to dental anxiety triggered by early trauma.
What You Can Do for Yourself . . .

Aftershocks: Childhood abuse lives on, creating sleepless nights

Article

It has long been understood that negative childhood experiences and abuse can cause the sufferer problems long after the abuse has ended. Abuse can be sexual, physical, or emotional, but the results are often the same. Problems with relationships, substance abuse, and post-traumatic stress disorder often continue to plague adult survivors of childhood abuse.

While some abuse is overt and extreme, other forms of abuse are more subtle. It’s easy to write these “lesser” forms of abuse off as “no big deal,” but a wide variety of adverse childhood experiences can create problems in adulthood.

A recent study performed at the University Psychiatric Clinics in Basel, Switzerland set out to discover a link between these adverse childhood experiences and primary insomnia. Primary insomnia is insomnia that cannot be explained as the result of a medical condition.

Study subjects were questioned about adverse childhood experiences, stress levels, predisposition toward increased arousability, and depression. Stress, depression, and sensitivity to arousal are all known components of primary insomnia, and researchers wanted to compare these factors with adverse childhood experiences.

Alice Miller: The Childhood Trauma

Article

Since adolescence I have wondered why so many people take pleasure in humiliating others. Clearly the fact that some are sensitive to the suffering of others proves that the destructive urge to hurt is not a universal aspect of human nature. So why do some tend to solve their problems by violence while others don’t?

Philosophy failed to answer my question and the Freudian theory of the death instinct has never convinced me. Nor could I make sense of genetic explanations of the evil, of the naive idea that a human being can be “born bad.” Nobody could answer the crucial question: How is it that so many turn-of-the-century German children were born with such malignant genes that they’d later become Hitler’s willing executioners? It has always been inconceivable to me that a child who comes into the world among attentive, loving and protective caregivers could become a monster. Then, by closely examining the childhood histories of murderers, especially mass murderers and dictators, I began to comprehend the roots of good and evil: not in the genes, as commonly believed, but in the earliest days of life. Today, neurobiological research seems to fully corroborate what I discovered almost twenty years ago.

India – Teachers, NGOs discuss measures for child safety

Article

Staff Reporter

CHENNAI: Creating an atmosphere of trust for children at home was essential to breaking the silence around child sexual abuse, said speakers at a meeting here recently.

The interactive session, organised by the New Horizons Committee of the Rotary International District 3230, brought together schoolteachers and non-governmental organisations (NGOs) to discuss how child safety could be ensured.

Vidya Reddy, founder, Tulir Centre for Prevention and Healing of Child Sexual Abuse (Tulir CPHCSA), said surveys conducted recently by both the Central Government and Tulir demolished several myths about abuse. Boys reported more abuse than girls.

Sexual abuse was prevalent across social groups and not, as commonly believed, found mostly among the underprivileged.