My name is Lisa aka Franki. I am an adult survivor of child sexual abuse and a survivor of rape. This is me – healing and fighting back. I’ve been on this journey since summer of 2005, and have learned so much from so many. I have also learned I am not alone. That has been a very important part of my healing, and I want to make sure every survivor knows they aren’t alone either, and that healing is possible. It is long, hard, excruciating work, but it is worth it. WE ARE WORTH IT!
I will post here what I learn. I will also be posting here news from each state, and from around the world concerning the laws that are being updated in each state, how pedophiles and child molesters are living amongst us and what is being done to protect our children and ourselves. I hope some of the articles anger you so much, that you decide you want to take action.
For more information on what you can do to help influence change in laws needed to get the monsters off the streets, please visit sadlynormal.org
September 5, 2006 at 12:46 pm
Wow.
Double wow.
I could wish I had noticed your blog sooner. We may never know why
things happen in the time that they do.
I’ve never been a victim. My sister was. My daughter nearly was. Or,
if you include the mental and emotional factors which linger on and
on as well (or as ill), then they (both my son and daughter) were in
the happy sad troupe of recoverers, or whatever one may wish
to call oneself. I am more a victim of my own semimonthlies.
I will keep reading, and hope that I do not say anything shameful.
Take care, and keep it up (the chin), you are amazing (to me).
–g
September 5, 2006 at 12:50 pm
ooops, my spell checking filter has subverted my intent:
substitute these words and it makes sense
recoverers: I had made up the word, recover-ees
semimontlies: I had used the hypenated phrase self-worthless-abuse
Why I didn’t see them getting switched? Maybe I blinked?
Please forgive the klutz, here!
–g
September 15, 2006 at 12:28 pm
Not ever sex offender is a monster. I like the web site, it has a lot of information on it. Victims of sexual abuse need to know that they are not alone so they come become a survivor. Take the steps that are out there for them. Also get some closer in their life through confronting the offender or what ever. Laws do not change people, the dicision to change is the difference. You made it, you knew some was wrong an made a dicision. I assaulted my daughter and I sought help. Six years later after treatment we are toghether as a family. It’s been a long road for all of us. We make it happen day by day. She comes home from school now and tells me that kids make fun of her because they seen my face on the internet. So now she becomes a victim again. Is this fair for her? I think not. Is their a fool proof solution, I don’t think so. Maybe education on the problem at hand. States are puting all SO in one group and making them level 3’s. This is not the solution eaither. A lot of question out their now but no real answer. To me its another form of McCarthyism, just a different time.
September 29, 2006 at 12:57 pm
Hi I’m the guy from the Russian Women blog… and breathinspirit paid us a visit a few days back so I thought I’d kill some time return the favor and see what’s up with you folks.
I’ve noticed that most of the sex abuse stories here are with males being the bad guys. Do you also report Women who initiate these crimes as well in your posts?
September 29, 2006 at 5:30 pm
RW Man, thanks for visiting! I hope you gained something from your experience here.
Many more males are convicted of sexual assault/abuse then women. Many more males commit sexual assault/abuse then women do. However, when I do not discriminate between the two; when I find an article that talks about a female predator, it is posted. You can find these posts listed under Female Perpatrators under The Criminals/Crimes to the left. http://sadlynormal.wordpress.com/tag/the-criminalscrimes/female-perpetrators/
Thanks for stopping by!
September 29, 2006 at 10:32 pm
Males are equipped to be invasive, not merely for pushing themselves
ONTO you. This explanation clearly is the geometric element. Deeper,
something about aggression is always involved. It is alien to me.
Aggression is what “they” do to “us” always, and not the other way.
I’m glad you explained what “female perpertators” are, so that these
How can a gal be a bad guy, anyhow?
guys will be able to decipher the deepest meaning of males’ criminal
intent. Female criminal intent might be wanting another baby, though
I would rather doubt that.
Excessive use of unauthorized tempting? Too much eyeshadow? Hmmm…
By the way, I love your idea for avatar… reminds me of the one eye
once had, so now I am reverse-jealous like crazy!
–g
September 30, 2006 at 4:21 pm
Hi Lisa,
Thanks for the clarification. Good luck to you and your mission!
Cheers, RW_Man..
October 8, 2006 at 11:11 pm
i love you lisa, hope to talk soon!
October 19, 2006 at 6:25 pm
I am on Lisa’s and Devan’s side. My bio-Father was my abuser and I was affaid of him for a long time. But, I now have contact with my Dad and we are working on our Father/Daughter relationship, he is still and always will be my Dad. He is not on the Sex Offender websites, he was grandfathered because these laws came later in the 1990’s. I am glad that he is NOT on this list and I know that he will never hurt anyone again. Some of the MEN and WOMEN need to be on this list but only if the crime was against a CHILD not other adults. Some Sex Offenders are also being killed/beaten just because they are on the list. It hurts everyone including Devan’s child. No other child should have to be abused by kids in school.
I have seen so many Child Sexual Abuse sites that are good and I have found some that are BAD. Some people are really abused. This site is one of the good ones.
You ROCK. I love the ability to post a message and you keep it up to show both sides of the issue.
Devan KEEP up the good work. It is a choice to abuse a child and it is a choice to get the help that you need.
Peace is the answer.
October 30, 2006 at 12:24 pm
Shannon – What state does your father live in?
October 31, 2006 at 3:02 pm
There are always two sides to every story. Theres also good and evil. in our world. Im talking about the 7 month old boy, that his father sodomized. Or the little girl that came up missing, found later dead in a creek, she had been raped . She was found not far from my own home!
Our children are being taken, rape ,killed and left in fields just waiting for someone to find them! My own child was molested ,as was I. I have spent my entire life trying to heal from what was done to me, and now I have to help my own child as well. It is far worst,trying to help her then it is trying to help myself.
I have been trying to talk with people to find help for us and others, but no one wants to talk about it. Indiana Laws are very weak My childs molester is walking free as we speak, he shows up everywhere! The police here will do nothing to stop it. He is a monster.
Lisa, good luck to you, I will pray for you! Let us know what you find out!
November 20, 2006 at 2:35 pm
Dear Lisa and Pam, I too am a survivor, and have been through counciling, etc, and can today live in my own skin. I am now faced with a preditor situation that has happened to my step son. It has brought alot of the pain and tears of empathy. And anger towards child preditors. I feel that the prevention laws have to change, because 1 strike is too many. I will continue reading your sight. And wish to become pro active in helping to change the laws. The preditors have more rights than the victoms, and the right of privacy, interferes with prevention. In Ct. a crime must be committed before a warent can be applied for, for further investigation even with many red flag warning signs that make DCF and The Police cringe. Here a suspect is protected, not the potential victom. Lisa You are a god send to many. Keep on your mission, You are awsome. And Pam 15 years ago I became involved with a womans survivor program , through the ywca, also The Book ” The courage to heal” was very helpful for me, and the serenity prayre.
November 21, 2006 at 10:26 pm
Lisa,
I honestly don’t know that much about the child molestation, and I have learned much recently. It is so hard to understand how one human could hurt another in this way. Keep up your mission. Lots of people need help.
December 2, 2006 at 10:19 pm
hey i wish i could say that i knew wat u where goin through but i dont i pray for you i want you to kno that i m there 4 u
December 10, 2006 at 9:48 am
Hi Lisa
I am very impressed with your site. Thanks for sharing the results of the Banks case in Boise a few weeks ago. I am the Canadian investigator who started the case that ultimately grew into a huge international operation. I am thrilled that Jerry Banks is in jail now for life. The prosecutors did an amazing job and it was a hard fought trial in which Banks maintained his innocence throughout. I noticed you refer to child molesters as “monsters”. That is the only way I describe them! Yes, they are monsters and I wish you all my support on your mission to make a positive difference.
Randy
December 12, 2006 at 10:05 pm
The laws are flimsy…even the new ones. I believe front line law enforcement generally does a good job investigating and forming a case the court will hear. It’s when it gets in the court room that victims have a difficult time.
The laws are designed to protect the criminals’ rights. Here in NC the DA would prefer you put a three year old on the stand accusing their father, than take the perp’s confession and medical evidence and go for a conviction. It’s like being victimized all over again. And then they want to give supervised visitation to the offender after they serve their time and you’ve got to go back to court. In my case that meant sifting through multiple lawyers to find a competent lawyer who focused on the issue and would win a court order of protection for my kids and didn’t exploit it for bigger headlines.
I highly suggest we either stick these offenders on Ellis Island and let them fend for themselves (since too many people have an issue with capital punishment), or at least give each convicted perp a tatoo on their forehead (“Katie’s Revenge”…that was great).
IMHO
No offense to anyone on the board, but I’m a firm believer that these folks can not be rehabilitated….just conditioned to hide better.
December 18, 2006 at 8:24 pm
I just wanted to let you know that I think what you’re doing is amazing. I’ve just written a paper on child abuse and incest and before writing it, I had almost convinced myself that nothing ever happened. Fortunately, my own abuses were miniscule in light of other stories I have heard and read about recently, but seeing as what I have had to do to heal, I can not even fathom having had to deal with more.
My heart goes out to all survivors and I hope we can make a difference in the lives of women and children and survivors everywhere. Really, it has to end.
I would love to contribute a poem to the carnival, if possible.
L. Monique
December 19, 2006 at 11:01 am
Dear Lisa,
First, Thank you for this websight- I am also a survivor, something I never considered myself to be, until now. But I do need support or answers to something.
My daughter is the victim of a school counselors innapropriate sexual discussions. This was group counseling where she was the only girl of 5 boys. The boys were allowed to ask ?? about my daughters body, make sexual comments and gestures towards her with no ramifications. They were allowed to shove sexually explicit picture in her face again with no ramifications. My daughter asked to “opt out” she complained she was uncomfortable again and again. She was made to participate with the threat of detention She was taught how to perform oral sex (verbally). Obviosly she is no longer in this group, but the boys stayed and would continue to repeat the lewd information they were taught. My daughter has disclosed that she feels she has been molested by the experience. I have tried to deal with it through the school to no avail. But recently the woman left her coulseling post. Yesterday, this woman counselor came to visit school my daughter is tramatized again. My daughter went to the school principal and disclosed more detail to her. Is what my child has been through sesxual abuse? The trama she feels is the same that I felt during my experience. If so where do I begin to help her heal. Does that start with filing a criminal complaint? Now that my daughter disclosed to the principal herself are they resposible to report it. This is Massachusetts!
December 19, 2006 at 10:23 pm
Lisa,
I admire your effort and your blog, good work.
When it comes to World News on sexual abuse you are missing whole epidemic of it in Scandinavia.
http://www.brusselsjournal.com/node/1754
http://fjordman.blogspot.com/2005/02/muslim-rape-epidemic-in-sweden-and.html
December 21, 2006 at 12:13 pm
Lisa,
Great work here. Lots of links to informative sites. Do you have room for another link?
I work with a group in Wisconsin called Citizens For a Safe Wisconsin (CFSW). I would be great for you to link to CFSW.
Web Site: http://www.cfsw.info
Web Site Blog: http://www.cfsw.info/blog
The blog is updated constantly.
Thanks
Andy
December 22, 2006 at 1:35 pm
A quick thank you to all who have posted comments here. I appreciate the support, more than you know. If any of you care to join in the fight, please visit sadlynormal.org or drop me an email.
December 25, 2006 at 10:56 pm
I am married to a male incest survivor. I do not agree with anything but a zero tolerance policy toward any perpetrator. They are not,”a parent,” once they have chosen to abuse you, or any child. They are a perpetrator and criminal; and need to be punished, billed, labeled for society’s safety, and serve time and serve justice. The laws through-out America must change and slowly but surely, they are. Yet, they are inadequate and unreasonable still in many states. (Delaware just now is undergoing enlightenment). It is our job as adults, to correct the wrongs and protect the children. We now have fate and destiny in our court; as we give a significant amount of help to future generations who will not suffer the same. Zero-tolerance, tougher laws, significant changes and actions. This site is headed in the right direction !
December 27, 2006 at 10:37 am
Hello,
I want to add my voice to those you are talking about. You have a nice cross section of the diversity that accompanies abuse. It isn’t easy. Nothing about it is easy you know – not surviving it, not living with it. But it’s projects like this that give voice, make noise and turn on the lights that are helping. I believe the healing begins with making noise and turning on the light.
I invite you to take a look at the blog I’ve been writing for a couple of years now. I talk a lot about my experience as a survivor.
http://www.recoveryvehicle.us
January 1, 2007 at 4:57 am
Lisa, I have visited your site before, but this is the first time that I have really read into your site. I think you are phenomenal and I want to thank you for who you are and all that you do. Your site is such an amazing healing tool. Keep on doing what you are doing.. You are awesome.. Thank you for being “our” voice because I know with this site we will be heard… Best Wishes…
January 2, 2007 at 7:57 am
http://www.teddycarebear.bravehost.com
January 18, 2007 at 10:56 am
Hi Lisa,
I am very pleased to see my piece on Sadly Normal site. But I want to know more about you.
January 20, 2007 at 9:04 am
you have just an AMAZING site!!! I was the victim of abuse from a young age up till i was a bit older. I think i have been depressed and suicidal for most of my life until now. I wish i could have found this site a long time ago. It would have helped me a lot. I still struggle with self hatred and suicidal thoughts…the people that hurt me alienated me from my own family. The ones that i should feel like i can talk to. The people that hurt me told me that they would kill my family members if i ever told anyone about what happened to me. I would wake up screaming every night then my parents would ask if i was ok and i would just say I LOVE YOU…but i was really scared that they had been killed. For 22 years i have been so alone and so afraid of everything…but not i am facing every fear that i have and i think that i am no longer in “depression”, i am now in the ANGER mode…and trying to forgive the ones that abused me…it is so, so, hard…but with Gods help i can do anything. I remember everything that they did to me and some other children…EVERYTHING!!! I have so much HATE inside me that i have to deal with every single day of my life. I suck at math…i am terrified of clocks and latex gloves…tools, knives, anything that reminds me of what happened to me. I still have panic attacks on a daily basis…but i try to control them…and sometimes the only thing that calms me is nyquil which is another habit i need to break…anyway…KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK THAT YOU ARE DOING NOW!!! My prayers and thoughts are with you always…
January 20, 2007 at 9:10 am
ohhhh…and one more thought…Lisa…did something really awful happen to you??? if so you are not your past and anything you have done in your past…God will forgive you…people need to understand what causes people to hurt other people…it is because they have dealt with anger in the wrong way…like drugs, …etc….and done things under the drug…but i love you…and keep up the great work ok dear??
January 20, 2007 at 9:32 am
so ya…do you know for CERTAIN where u r going when you die? well it is really quite SIMPLE…you will either go to hell or you will go to HEAVEN. are you 100% sure where u r headed??? well here are some verses that can assure you where you r headed…look them up and do some studying! here we go:
just a few verses that can help u!!!
jn 5:21 – 24, jn 3:36, jn 5:36, 1st jn 5:13, ro. 3:23, rev 20:14, tit. 3:15, ro. 5:8, 1 cor. 15:3,4, ro. 6:23, ro. 10:10
A simple prayer that will help u to know FOR SURE where you are headed:
Dear Lord Jesus i realize that i am a sinner and that you died and went through the most terrifying pain for ME!!! YES FOR ME!!! You rose from the dead for ME. PLEASE forgive me for my sin and take me with you in your loving arms to heaven when i die. I want you to be my best friend. Someone i can turn to when i am hurting and suffering…please be my heavenly Father. Thank you. Amen.
If you prayed this prayer you are a child of God and you will go to heaven…YES it is that SIMPLE…God wants to be your best friend…he wants you to lift your hands up in prayer and ask HIM for help when YOU need it.
God will forgive anything ANYTHING you have ever done…there is nothing you can do to stop God from saving you. HE WILL SAVE you no matter what path you have chosen. He will take you up in HIS LOVING arms and hold you and help YOU change your life around for the better…i know this from PERSONAL EXPERIENCE…please ask me about my testimony if you would like to know what i have gone through and i will be happy to share.
Ok i pray that you will say this prayer as i have and i am 100% sure where i am going when i die.
love you!!!!
hugs & kisses
January 20, 2007 at 11:36 pm
C.E.H. ,
Who needs forgiveness for being sexually abused and raped by a parent ? Are you merely proselytizing to all about your beliefs or implying that being sexually abused is a sin ? If so , I find that extremely offensive and abusive in itself .
Did you not read the top of the page ? Yeah – something really awful did happen to Lisa . Incest tends to be awful . But she doesn’t need to be forgiven for what happened to her. She’s not the one who did the hurting . And no , she’s not a drug abuser . Are you projecting your own struggles and needs here ?
Everyone must choose her/his own healing path , and it sounds as though you believe that the forgiveness of God is going to take away all the pain and long-term effects of being abused . That may work for you . But faith is only one piece of healing – and not even necessarily a faith in God . There is so much more work required than to simply pray The Sinner’s Prayer .
I was raised in a fundamentalist Protestant church , and found the beliefs very hurtful and damaging to my efforts to heal . I’ve prayed that prayer more than once throughout my life . I’ve stood beside my abusers in church as they prayed the Sinner’s Prayer . They did not get healed . They did not stop abusing . I’ll run right now and get out that pretty pink King James that one of my abusers gave to me while she had me locked up . What were those verses again ? No , this prayer is not a simple answer . Child abusers who continue to abuse and then claim forgiveness from God belong in Hell as far as I’m concerned .
God can’t take away your anger , hatred , depression , or suicidal thoughts . His word may give you strength to deal with those issues ,
but you still need to do the work . You’re alive right now , and need to focus on life – not just on where you’re going when you die .
January 25, 2007 at 12:11 pm
today is another day…seems like things are getting harder in some ways…i am finding scars and marks that i do not know where they came from. i woke up this morning with a horrible headache and jaw pain…cuts on my tung…i can hardly even eat right now…i am so tired all the time i can hardly function…so if you could all keep me in your thoughts and prayers… thanks!!!
January 25, 2007 at 12:18 pm
to lisa:
i am so sorry about my earlier comment. i was talking about how God can forgive the people who abuse others…the ones that abused me…i was not trying to say that you have hurt anyone or ever would…and i also realize that you have been through a lot and i am so so sorry. what i meant by that is God can forgive the ones that have hurt me…and YES…i do struggle with addictions to sleeping pills…and i have hurt myself…to try and ease the pain…but i was not trying to offend anyone here, and i am truly sorry if i did. i have held all my pain inside for 22 years…and i was just sharing my feelings without realizing how it might effect everyone else. please forgive me.
January 25, 2007 at 12:22 pm
ok….i am SOOOOOO sorry everyone…i realize now how my words could have hurt people. I apologize sincerely…truly…i would never try to stop the amazing healing effect this site has on everyone…i am crying about this…
hugs and kisses to all
ceh
January 28, 2007 at 12:47 pm
ok…hope no one is still mad at me!!! one of my babysitters name was lisa and she made me drink animal blood…
tears….i am not saying that “this” lisa had anything to do with it ok??? i really am sorry if i hurt anyone…
dtd
January 28, 2007 at 12:49 pm
correction…i have not been holding my pain inside for the whole 22 yrs…actually it was since i was like four…that is when the abuse started by my babysitter…
January 28, 2007 at 3:16 pm
ok…i know God does not take away the anger and the hurt of going through terror…otherwise i would not be where i am today…i realize that…God is someone i can pray to and the burden is a little lighter…um so ya…i struggle everyday with incredible anger…sometimes i feel like i could run for miles and miles…that is how angry i am…i have scars that remind me of what they did to me every day. They ruined most of my life…but i am not letting them ruin another day…i am going to live in the present..and not worry anymore…i am handing my life over to God…and whatever He wants me to do i am going to do. I have stopped taking sleeping pills…i remember when i was younger like ten years old i used to beat my head against a cement wall…i hated myself…and i spend most of my childhood sick on the toilet from all of the anxiety…i could not concentrate fully at school or church…no matter how many times my family told me they loved me i could never believe it…I HATED MYSELF all my growing up years…i could not even stand to look at myself in the mirror…my mom thankfully had me take ballet classes…it helped me get rid of some of the anxiety…but ya…most of my life has been HELL….and i KNOW that God had a reason for what i went through…i just do not know exactly WHY as of yet…keep me in your prayers…thanks to all!!!
XOXOXO
February 8, 2007 at 9:55 am
Stay the strong person you are today, good luck with the rest of your life.
Live your life to the fullest, you and every other abused person need to.
Let us all help stop the courts in the US from using Parental Alienation Syndrome to give kids back to abusers.
February 14, 2007 at 9:26 am
I wrote this poem, as I am dealing with the abuse to my daughter. I also am a survivor, and sometimes it’s easier to write poetry than talk in sentences, when the pain is so great.
THE LOSS
We will lock you up,
Inside a cage.
With other demons,
Full of Rage.
Away you go,
Behind those walls.
A life of darkness,
Down those halls.
You’ll have that chance,
To live in hell.
We move on,
As your soul, you’ll sell.
Many nights,
You’ll lie awake.
Scared and lonely,
You’ll cry and shake.
Are you sorry,
For the lives you’ve scarred?
As you live your life,
Behind those bars?
Do you seek forgiveness?
Or do you still lie?
Do you want to live?
Do you want to die?
The only choice,
Still yours to make.
You lost that freedom,
As souls you raped.
Do your evils haunt you,
When you close your eyes?
Will you think of them,
In your last goodbye?
Who are you in there?
What’s inside your mind?
If we caught a glimpse,
What would we find?
Is there any good,
Is there any truth?
Who was it that hurt you,
And robbed you of your youth?
I never will forget you,
And the pain you caused us all.
But someday I will forgive you,
When Jesus comes to call.
I will hold my head up high,
I can survive this crime.
My life is moving on,
And my heart will heal in time.
February 26, 2007 at 10:01 pm
I am a mother who is fighting for my child who spent 10 months being molested by two older half brothers. The state of Mo has failed my beautiful child. November 06 warrants issues for my former step sons given that they confessed to molesting my daughter and other children while in thier fathers care. November 06 my child is placed with her father in protective custody of the state of MO. Court ordered DFS worker and therapy for my child. January 07 continuance no DFS worker assigned no home visits completed. Feb. 07 still no worker no home visit. Her father is now being investigated for chatting with a minor girl two years older than his son. Yet still DFS no home visit. Now the DJO and PD are concerned that her father will harm me. What about our daughter. Feb 07 his visits with his son are now supervised due to his minipulation of them. April we go to trial after his sons plead out MO will prosecute my x for child neglect and endangerment, Now they are negligent in placing my child with him. Why isn’t my daughter with me…because I reside in IL where a law that is between all states will not let her come to IL till MO has IL do a homestudy. That was court ordered in November. IL is still awaiting the paperwork from MO. Took 6 months to get her a caseworker…..imagine how long it will take them to send paperwork to IL. I have been told as soon as MO does this my daughter will come home. 120 days and counting!
March 22, 2007 at 12:11 pm
T.M.T:
Your daughter will need to know how you fought and are fighting to protect her. It is glaringly obvious to me that you need to relocate at once to MO. It will be vital for her recovery for your child to know that you have done everything you could to rescue her. RELOCATE. I am well aware that you shouldn’t have to, but until the laws are changed you must do what you can within the law to avoid being prosecuted for protecting your child, which would no doubt cause even greater delay in reuniting you with your daughter.
The outrageous inadequacies of social service agencies that are tasked with protecting children I think require civil demonstrations on a huge scale. The “million man march”, anti-abortion, and civil rights demonstrations over the years were organized. Why not protest- marches on local headquarters of social services, State capitols and and Wash. DC to demand a complete overhaul of how we protect children in this country!?
Laura Wrzeski
wrzfamily@centurytel.net
May 21, 2007 at 9:33 pm
A relative of my was recently drugged and rape by a priest. How can I get her information out so that her story could be heard?
June 30, 2007 at 7:42 pm
I work for Tiny Stars, a non-profit agency that is dedicated to exposing and stopping sexual exploitation of children.
Everyone who reads this has the opportunity to make a huge difference in bringing the issue of sexual exploitation of children to the forefront of America’s priorities.
BlogHer is a community of 11,000 women bloggers and growing. They are inviting both men and women to go to their BlogHer site and fill out their survey. It takes about 3 minutes of your time to fill out.
Here is the post I put on my blog http://www.tinystars.wordpress.com :
The issue I would like to see BlogHers Act support
June 10th, 2007
BlogHer is a site where women bloggers can register and have their blog seen in a community of other women bloggers. They want idea’s for a global issue to support for one year. This would be a powerful and significant voice for what ever issue is chosen since it would be it will be heard and carried by thousands of bloggers
The one I would like to see voters choose is the multi-billion dollar industry of sexual exploitation of children. This is a global problem and eighty percent of child predators that travel to other countries are Americans. One child molestor will affect hundreds of children in their lifetime. Or in many cases thousands. Such as with John W. Seljan, 85, who before being caught molested tens of thousands of children.
The good news is that there are solutions. Under the Protect Act thousands of Americans can be caught in other countries (pick one they are there) and convicted in America. With harsher sentencing under the Protect Act (20 years for under 18, life imprisonment for under 14) it is an extremely effective way to get them off of America’s streets as well. After this new legal precident has been put in place harsher sentences will be given to child predators who are caught in the states also.
It is crucial that everyone know not only about the problem but the solution. There are so many things that individuals and groups can do, join the global Family Watch Group, volunteer, monetary support, encouraging the company you work for to support the cause either corporately or through employee matching bonus programs the list goes on and on. We can make a difference. We can stop this industry in its tracks. A big push of awareness and action is needed. The one organization that I know of that is using the Protect Act and undercover agents to expose and catch child predators is the non-profit Tiny Stars. For five years Jake Collins has worked to inform the public on this issue and is now rallying the support and assistance of caring people who want to stop the devastation of innocent children that is happening around the globe and in our neighborhoods. I started this blog to do my part.
I hope this issue is chosen by the BlogHer community but if it is not I hope that you will all visit this blog and Jake’s web site to increase awareness and help stop the silence that makes child molestation possible.
Voting will take place on Blogher http://www.blogher.org until July 8th. on the home page scroll down a bit and on the left click on non-profits and ngo’s. Click that link. You should see or scroll down to see a link that says something like BlogHers Act survey is live. It takes about 3 minutes to take the survey. The survey is your vote.
The selection on the survey is sexual exploitation of children and child abuse.
Thanks for making a difference,
Gloria
September 27, 2007 at 2:40 pm
Hello,
I read your blog with interest, and wanted to make a couple of observations. For context’s sake, I will tell you that I was abused as a child by a male relative. I won’t trouble you with the details. Anyway. I kept my abuse a secret until I was 19, and I told a girlfriend about it after I was unable to perform sexually with her, and felt she deserved the truth about why – it took me a long, long time to start enjoying a normal sex life.
Before I told that girl what had happened to me, nobody knew about it. That was very hard to deal with, and what I recognise now is that I had become obsessed with my own anger. It was always in the back of my mind, a sort of boiling resentment combined with vicious hatred. In short, not healthy.
After I told her, it was like a weight had been lifted from me. I woke up the next day, and had a good, long think. What I realised then was that what had happened to me was awful, but it was not worth throwing my life away or wasting any more time on hate or anger. I literally let it go. I forgave the man who did it to me a long time ago. I don’t hate him, I don’t have any ill will towards him at all – he’s just a guy. I admit, I’ve kept an eye open to be sure that he’s not harmed any other children, but that’s it.
I think what I’m saying is, until you can move past the awful things that happened to you and leave them in the past where they belong, you are never going to be at peace. Vengeance will not give you closure. The only person who can give you closure is yourself.
I wish you luck,
Micky.
February 14, 2008 at 2:36 pm
Wow baby! I’m glad you started this organization. I and my younger sister were molested when we were about 3 and 4 years old. It took a long time to tell our mother about it because he swore us to secrecy. He would say don’t tell Lil’Bit! He used to call her Lil’Bit because he couldn’t pronounce her name. Thankfully, he died five years later of Leukemia. I guess God didn’t like ugly. We told our mother after he died about the abuse. She was upset that he did that to us. My mother was involved with a very bad person at the time, and she almost got killed by him. She had my Little sister in 79.He beated her throughout the whole pregnancy. The last straw came when he came out of jail and literally beat the crap out of her. My mother was holding our sister at the time, and she fell on the floor as he was beating her. My sister and I were crying because we thought she was dead! Our grandmother had came by at the time and got us away from him. Luckily our sister was okay, thank God! Meanwhile, we were relocated to Norfolk, VA from Chesapeake,VA. He was sent to Norfolk jail. They kept him there for a while. I used to be angry about it and bitter too. To this day I feel blessed that I didn’t go in my mother’s direction with choosing the WRONG man. Iam married with two teenaged kids. You know, I even forgave them for doing that to me. I had to, I was tired of giving them control over me. It feels great to be purged grom that great shame. I can say that I’m a survivor too. Stay strong my sister! I love you!
May 19, 2008 at 4:34 pm
Hi
I would like to speak with you about my problems and see if you have any insight on them and any ideas on what I should do. This is something ive been dealing with for almost 10 years and not doing very well with. My email is listed here. kristallogan@live.com I really think you can help me.
krista
April 17, 2009 at 9:15 pm
Dr. John F. Dye Trial to begin Monday April 20, 2009 – I am John’s ex-wife who had discovered him raping a young lady in September 2006. He fled the country and was arrested in the Dominican Republic in Dec. 2006. I am asking any young lady who attended Nazareth College in Rochester, NY – to please come forward and tell your story of rape or assault or any experience with professor Dr. John F. Dye. We are scheduled to go to trial April 20, 2009 and I saw several responses to news articles that had blogs from former students of his. Please contact the Durham District Attorney’s office with your stories ASAP. or me at sdye1@email.unc.edu
October 5, 2009 at 9:59 am
i think it amazing how so many people were supposedly abused. i used to say to myself that all child molesters and rapists should rot in jail, but then the unthinkable happened and changed my outlook on that situation.. i was going through a bad divorce and then all of a sudden my child allegedly accused me of touching him. where is the rights for men in this country and fathers going through bad divorces. it seems all women want in divorces is money and the kids. when the woman gets custody they get more money. i hear alot of stories here from people claiming to be victims and if you really are then i’m sorry, but what about the wrongly accused and convicted people. what happens to the people who help couch a child to say stuff like that…. nothing they let them walk. they should be charged with a crime just like the accused would. just because your a victim doesn’t mean that everyone accused is guilty… just remember that we ( the falsely accused) suffer too just like a real victim. i have seen people falsely accused- get beaten up, killed, convicted, and picked on because of false allegations. so i ask again where are the rights for men in this country. what about the falsely accused. this country only cares about the alleged victims. and may i remind you alot of these alleged victims in priest abuse cases didnt come forward until a monetary settlement was issued to an alleged victim. now all of a sudden millions are coming forward….. its the money. for all you lyers out there, i have a message for you. i hope you pay for your crimes.. maybe soon these politicians will make something happen for the wrongly accused and the jerk of a president of the u.s. would stop worrying about the rich and health care and start fixing the real problems with this country…