Do you realize what you did to the person you raped/sexually assaulted/sexually harassed/sexually abused?
Your actions have given your victims a life sentence. Fear. Anxiety. Depression. Worthlessness. And this barely touches the surface.
These feelings last a lifetime.
Sure, we get therapy. We heal. But we are never the same. Fear and anxiety and depression and worthlessness and everything else you have given us sneak in every now and then.
You take from us one of our most precious possessions.
Sometimes, you do it with violence. Sometimes you do it with lies and manipulations. Sometimes you do it with drugs.
And you wonder why we don’t want you back in society. You wonder why we don’t want you around our children. You wonder why we want to know where you are, where you are living, who you are.
You spout off about recidivism rates. The truth about recidivism:
For every sex offender that is caught and convicted, the chances are there are other victims the offender won’t be convicted for. It has been estimated that an offender has an average of 117 victims.
For every sex offender that is caught and convicted, there are 12 offenders that aren’t caught, let alone convicted.
Recidivism data is thrown out the window. This data is based on convictions and re-convictions. If 12 out of 13 sex offenders are running around and never caught, and only 3 or 4 victims out of 117 are coming forward… recidivism rates are WAY OFF.
Chances are you are reoffending, just not being caught.
It’s absolutely that epidemic.
Recidivism rates have no bearing.
And to those who defend you:
Most sex offenders and your supporters LOVE to use the rationalization that children lie.
So do sex offenders.
In order for a sex offender to be successful (taking out the violence aspect for a moment), he or she must be successful at lying and manipulating. Many of them are so good at it that they convince those around them they are good, kind and well-intentioned.
That’s what they want you to believe; NEED you to think. And you do.
IF they are finally caught, those closest to the offender can not, WILL NOT, believe that their uncle, brother, father, grandfather, favorite teacher, coolest coach, daycare provider, parish priest… is possible of committing such an act.
Parents (with the exception of the molesting parent) are not to blame either. As good as the sex offender is at manipulating his victim, he is that good at manipulating the parents.
And when an adult “has sex” with a minor… it is called rape/sexual assault. Some places call it sexual battery.
No matter the name, it is a crime. Minors can not legally consent to having sex. If you are an adult, and sexually assault a minor… even if the minor says yes, even if the minor seduces you, you are the adult, you say no. If not, you face the punishment (see below).
Teachers, priests, coaches – anyone in authority – know this better than anyone. The ones who abuse their authority to rape a child NEED to be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.
One of the most used defenses by a sex offender and those that support you is the lack of physical evidence.
Physical evidence is often not available. When your victim does come forward, it isn’t always right away.
Can you blame them?
Sex offenders, in your little arsenal of lies and manipulations… you are also known to utilize threats and other abusive tactics to keep your victims silent. Threats of violence, death, and anything else the offender believes will be effective on your victim are used.
These threats are especially effective on children, especially if the offender threatens the child’s guardian, a pet, or anything else the child cares about.
And children are very insightful. They know the monsters who hurt them are well liked and trusted. It’s how they gained the trust of the child and the child’s protectors in the first place.
Along with whatever the monster told the child to help keep his/her silence, the child usually believes if she comes forward, she will not be believed. Instead, the child believes there will be punishment by those who the child is supposed to be able to trust. The child is in danger, and has no where to turn.
When the victim is finally able to come forward, it isn’t pretty.
Have you witnessed what happens when a victim comes forward?
First, there is the sexual assault examination, known as a rape kit.
It’s invasive, painful, and uncomfortable. And it usually takes longer than the sexual assault itself.
Second, media and public opinion come into play.
Too many people say stupid things.
“She was drunk.” (Read as she deserved it.)
“She was wearing a short skirt.” (Read as she wanted it.)
“She was kissing him. They were fooling around.” (Read as she consented to it.)
A woman has every right to drink what she wants, wear what she wants, and say NO at anytime!
Too often, these simple rights are forgotten, not only by you, the offender, but by those trying to rationalize your crimes.
The media often misuses the phrase “having sex” (which implies consent), instead of using the rightful “sexual assault.” Stick alleged in front of it if it makes you feel better.
Berkeley Brean from a local news station, just the other night, was reporting on an adult man being arrested for “having sex” with a minor.
Mr Brean, When referring to a case of an adult “having sex” with a child… it is not “having sex”. The correct phrasing is either sexual abuse, sexual assault or rape. “Having sex” with someone under the age of consent implies that there was no crime committed. It implies the victim may have consented, when, in fact, a 14-year-old (in this case) is incapable of giving legal consent. Thank you for taking this into consideration in future reporting. Sincerly, Lisa W., SadlyNormal.org
I received no response.
Although later, when Janet Lomax reported on the same case, she correctly reported it as sexual assault.
All of this being said, and all of this being the reality, you whine about your punishment.
A life sentence for a sex offender… it’s nothing. Whether that life sentence is served in prison, or served having to live at least 1500 feet from a school.
Why should we let a sex offender have easier access to our children? Of course you can drive to the school and take your pick. Maybe next, Ohio’s license plate idea will spread.
It’s not an easy life for a “freed” sex offender, but it isn’t an easy life for the victim either.
The fact is, these are the laws. When you commit the crime, and agree to your plea, and know what the ordinances are, and that they can change at anytime… that is part of your sentence.
Your sentence no longer ends when you leave that jail cell. Your sentence continues even when you are able to walk down Main St. and shop at your favorite grocery store.
Your sentence continues just like the victim’s sentence.
If you don’t want to have this sentence imposed on you, then don’t commit a sexual offense.
I dont agree with everything the legal system is doing, especially when it concerns the sex offender registry. There are some acts that don’t belong on the registry. Mooning someone deserves a kick in the buttocks. Urinating in a public place deserves some community service cleaning Port-A-Pottys with a toothbrush. But if you rape or sexually assault or sexually abuse; whether you abuse your authority, or use force, or violence or lies and manipulations; you belong on the SOR even after jail.
Also, I need to state that I am not stupid. I know some lie about being sexually assaulted, for whatever reason. But it isn’t the norm, as many of you and your supporters like to claim.
Anyone who would willingly go through any of this for attention or money or notoriaty or whatever their reason is, has serious issues. Anyone who lies about being raped or molested, should be punished to the same extremes as a sex offender is. It’s crimes like these that make doubting a real victim easier.
Sex offenders, supporters thereof… think twice.
Think twice before you act out your impulses.
Think twice before you misuse your authority.
Think twice about the lies and manipulations.
And make that second thought about the sentence you will serve… SOR and all… before committing your crime.